Wrong Place-Wrong Time
               

                A fictional Story

One of the things you might have to do when you work for a company or corporation is to attend a company or corporate event.  Many of ya’ll may have had to go to some of these things like  team building meetings/seminars or the annual company/corporate fund raising dinner.  Most of the times the tickets are so high you can’t even afford to bring your partner or spouse.

You have to be on your best behavior because you got to be careful of what you say to some of the people at these events cause not everybody can take a joke. Like there are things you can say to your friends and they get as you know just being jokes but other folks...man you got to be careful!

I mean I like to bring humor to the conversation you know it’s my ice breaker. My wife always tells me one day you going to say the wrong thing at the wrong time and that stuff ain’t going to be funny.

Yeah, yeah whatever but little did I know. I’m at this event and I see some of my co-workers and they’re talking with some other folks so then I walk up; my co-worker says “hey how is everything”?

“How’s the wife”? So I answered back “decomposing”. The other couple excused themselves and scurried away like a Republicans trying not to have a picture taken with President Obama.

 I’m like what the f is wrong with them.  

Later I pictured this scenario happening: The guy’s wife was probably like “we better call the police did you hear what that guy said about his wife”?

Her husband was like “well dear he was probably kidding”.

She says “you don’t that and you don’t know him.

Yeah that’s another thing when you are meeting someone for the first time it’s probably not the time and place to make a joke about a decomposing spouse.

The next thing I know after I got home my door bell rings and it’s the police and accompanying them are helicopters, cadaver sniffing dogs and a Nancy Grace look alike is in my front yard.

You know woman have Nancy Grace on speed dial when a wife is suspected missing. The cop says we can’t seem to locate your wife Mr. so and so any idea where she is tonight? Now wouldn’t you know that tonight my wife just happens to not be at home and I have no clue where she is. So I answer ummm ummmm I am not sure. 
The next thing I know I’m on the ground, dogs are biting me in my ass and this Nancy Grace look alike is yelling at me "you did it you did it" what did you do with her body! Is this bitch crazy? All I can think about is damn my friends are going see this shit and laugh at my stupid ass!

Well I’m doing the perk walk on national f-ing breaking news T.V. when guess who drives up? Yep my wife.

She was loaded down with bags from the outlet mall.

Great I’m going to jail and she done spent all the money to bail my ass out. First thing out her mouth is "oh my God is that Nancy Grace"? I loved you on dancing with the stars. 

You got to be f-ing kidding me; girl can't you see this shit? (Showing hands cuffed) Thankfully I can say everything was straightened out by my wife but not without her saying “I told you one day wrong place, wrong time”. We both learned valuable lessons. 

I learned to stop telling morbid jokes at least in mixed company and my wife learned that the Nancy Grace look alike and she had the same taste in shoes. Go figure.

Written By: Larry D. Miller